Top Ten Signs Harry Potter Is Getting Older
Here is a Top Ten that got lost for awhile, the David Letterman contest was a few weeks ago and I had only composed a Top Eight, so today I have quickly scribbled in two more (2 and 3 if you must know).
On with the Top Ten (official Letterman winners below Larry's Top Ten)
Top Ten Signs Harry Potter Is Getting Older
David Letterman Winners
Top Ten Signs Harry Potter Is Getting Older
On with the Top Ten (official Letterman winners below Larry's Top Ten)
Top Ten Signs Harry Potter Is Getting Older
- Magic Wand now used as a Walking Cane
- New Foe: Sciatica
- Can’t get through a major incantation without having to go to the bathroom
- Drones on about how in his day, magic wands weren’t pre-made, no-sir-ree, you had to make your own out of bramble branches that you had to gnaw down to the right shape with your bare teeth, and not just any old bramble branches, but…
- Prefers to watch Quidditch matches on the telly from a La-Z-Boy
- Now refers to Herminie as “That Tease”
- New Nickname: Harry Potbelly
- Constantly talks about the benefits to deregulating the Magic industry
- Has to hide crotch region whenever Herminie leans in too close to him
And The Number One Sign Harry Potter I Getting Older - Magic Wand won’t work without a little Viagra
David Letterman Winners
Top Ten Signs Harry Potter Is Getting Older
- Uses the invisilibity cloak to conceal his stash of porn and beer
Emma J., Mount Sterling, KY - Instead of using wand for casting spells, uses it for Botox injections
Rachel J., Manahawkin, NJ - Spends three chapters trying to conjure a fake ID
Dave A., Washington, DC - Using all of his power to stop Social Security from disappearing
Ben C., Daytona Beach, FL - Can't get a date with Demi Moore
Diana O., Vancouver, BC - His collection of magic potions strangely resembles a six-pack of Guiness
Karl P., Altoona, PA - Next book: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of High Cholesterol”
Jim W., Hopkin, SC - Made the Statue of Liberty disappear in hopes of banging Claudia Schiffer
Curt P., Birmingham, AL - Found out he has more than one magic wand
Joe F., Altoona, PA - Doesn't get invited to Neverland Ranch anymore
Trevor C., Spaniard's Bay, NL
2 Comments:
good post... thanks.
Lila
my site: gifted and talented child
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