Top Ten Surprises In "Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith"

10. Mace Windu explains the little differences between Coruscant and Tatooine, like a Quarter Pounder with Cheese being called a Royale with Cheese.
    
9. Anakin Walker is turned to the North West side of the Force.
   
8. After spending huge sums of money on visual effects, to stay in budget the actors are forced to make their own light saber buzzing noises.
   
7. Having midichlorians in ones blood allows for manipulation of the force, but proves to have the dark side of promoting arterial plaque buildup and heart disease.
   
6. When crushing someone’s trachea with your mind you don’t actually crush the trachea but create a vacuum causing it to implode.
   
5. Yoda’s nary green ass saved from the Sith by being expelled beforehand by the Jedi Council after serious allegations of improprieties with young Padawans arise.
   
4. To bring balance to the Force all light saber battles are conducted with books balanced on heads.
   
3. Instead of actually dying, remaining Jedi are heard to scream “Run Away! Run Away!” as they quickly exit the field of battle.
   
2. Han Solo is actually Luke and Lea’s half cousin twice removed on their father’s side by marriage.
   
1. Kermit the Frog’s real father Yoda turns out to be
   

Addendum -- May 23, 2005
Official Late Show Winners

Top Ten Surprises In "Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith"

10. For budgetary reasons, Darth Vader voice now done by Regis Philbin Jeff F., W. Windsor, NJ 9. The Force composed of two parts magnetism, three parts telekinesis and one part that feeling you left the iron on right after your plane takes off Mike T., Buford, GA 8. Chewbacca subpoenaed by Imperial Senate to testify about steroid usage among Wookies Pat E., Exton 7. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to higher-than-PG rating Eric C., Lakeland, FL 6. Closing credits feature George Lucas waving to crowd from room filled with cash Brian Y., Peabody, MA 5. First Rebel Alliance? All Trekkies. Ken S., Bedford, NS 4. Sith's revenge is the tragic result of pent-up rage from daily wedgies in high school Mark H., St. Louis, MO 3. The dark side of The Force actually offers great insurance and 401k plan John B., St. Paul, MN 2. Kirstie Alley cameo as young Jabba the Hut Terry A., San Francisco, CA 1. Anakin Skywalker's downfall? Ate Pop Rocks and cola at the same time Kevin S., Rootstown, OH